No animal in the animal kingdom is as smooth as felines. These creatures are slick and cool and absolutely appealing. All cat owners know just how easy it is to fall in love with these stunning and mysterious creatures, and it’s no wonder why so many pick up lines are written with sly cat references. If cats were to play the singles game, they certainly would come out on top. We could almost imagine these animals smooth-talking their way into someone’s heart, much like how they do already anyway without even talking. But if they could talk, we’d imagine that these 10 cheesy pick up lines would be a few of the things we would hear.
1. “Are we in the litter box? ‘Cause I’m diggin’ you.”
O the litter box reference is just wonderful. This is the cat’s most private locale, and if a cat is telling you that it’s digging you like you were in its litter box, then you should feel quite special.
2. “My vet says I’m lacking in vitamin U.”
Cats needs their vitamins all day everyday, so you should know that if a cat is telling you that you are the equivalent of its vitamins, then it definitely needs you like no other. If you’re not falling for this little trick, we’re sure that you’ll fall for something else.
3. “Let’s make like fabric softener and snuggle.”
If there’s one thing that cats love to do, it’s definitely snuggling. It helps that cats are adorable enough to snuggle all day long. Just imagine snuggling a truly soft and furry cat. Yes, we could snuggle soft and furry all day long as well. This one is definitely something that would work on many single cats out there.
4. “Are you a bag of treats? ‘Cause I wanna sample you.”
This one just sounds as naughty as your cat probably is. If a cat is thinking that you’re a bag of treats, that’s because it’s probably hungry. You can give it a few snacks and if it’s still asking for more, then maybe it really wants some of your loving instead.
5. “I’m not high on nip, I’m just intoxicated with you.”
It’s always dangerous when a cat throws in the intoxication game. There’s nothing like being intoxicated with someone, and it’s just not fair game if a cat is using this line. More than likely, someone would fall for it. We certainly would.
6. “My love for you is like a hairball—I can’t hold it in.”
The imagery that this one brings is slightly naughty and disgusting; but hey, some people are into naughty and disgusting—just like a cat throwing up a hairball. If you’re the type that would fall for this one, don’t fret. There’s a cat out there for you.
7. “Are you part beaver? Because daaaaamn.”
Okay, this one is just utterly ridiculous. Okay, maybe it will work. It will surely give someone a chuckle, if not a smile. Cats are so slick that this is exactly the kind of line you could imagine them giving. Who would actually fall for a line like this? It might send the wrong messages, but there are people out there looking for the wrong message to receive.
8. “Can you take me to the vet, because you just took my breath away.”
This is probably the cheesiest one of the bunch, but there was bound to be one that was cheesy. The taking of the breath is probably the oldest trick in the book. You’d have to have the finest feline looks for this one to work.
9. “Do you live in a corn field? Because I’m stalking you.”
This one just gives us the creeps ever so slightly. Anytime the word stalking is used, we just tend to back away—not slowly—very, very fast. If you’re a stalker, then we’re running away from you.
10. “You must have been sleeping in the sun, because you are HOT.”
Again, wrong messages are being sent here. But if you’re the type that likes someone who is straightforward, then this is probably the perfect cat for you. It’s not the brightest or the most original in the bunch, but at least we know what the cat’s thinking.