The relationship you have with your cat is a very precious one. It’s also one that is very particular. For example, you know how to communicate with your cat in a way that other people do not. You might think that it’s just your cat, but it’s probably all cats. Those without cats of their own are typically unaware of some of the more intricate mannerisms that come with the relationship we have with our feline friends. For instance, our cats love to spend time with us, but only on their terms. Cats have a peculiar way about them, and it takes a really careful cat person to understand that.
Even then, however, it seems that most of us cannot seem to keep our cats happy. We try and we try, but our cats cannot seem to go a day without becoming absolutely offended by our behavior, and for that we are very ashamed. Here are just a few of the many, many things we do every single day that offend our cats much like Starbucks offering a plain red Christmas cup offended the millions of Americans with nothing actually even remotely important to do with their time but complain about a paper cup.
Making Eye Contact
There was that one time last week when you made eye contact with your cat and she was not all that annoyed by it. The problem wasn’t that you did it then; the problem is that you assumed your cat would be all right with you making eye contact for a second time. Your cat was not all right with you making eye contact for a second time. Your cat mostly hates when you look her in the eye too much. She finds you abhorrent when you do this.
It’s too happy and too chipper for your cat. He prefers that you do nothing more than give him the same narrowed-eye glare he perfected the second he exited the kitten stage and grew up. He prefers when you take your smile and show it off elsewhere.
When your cat wants affection from you, he will not allow you to accomplish anything else. Do not mistake your cat looking at you or sitting near you as a sign that he wants you to love him, either. When he is ready for you to love him, he will show you. He will show you that he is ready for affection by demanding it in every manner possible. He will not, however, allow you to give him affection he does not want. So don’t even think about it, because it is not happening.
Holding Your Cat
Your cat likes to be held, just not at your pace. He likes to be held when he tells you to hold him. Otherwise, it’s offensive and disgusting that you would even assume your cat wants anything more than for you to go away and leave him alone. Really; he is a cat with needs and he needs you to understand he doesn’t love it when you go around holding him.
Touching Your Cat
I love to pet my cat; well, I did before he disappeared. However, he wasn’t always a fan. When he wanted to be touched, he’d find me and allow me to pet him. He’d move around so that I pet him where he wanted to be pet and glare at me otherwise. When I tried to touch my cat because I wanted to touch him, he would not have any of that. I will assure you in every possible manner that cats do not find it amusing when you touch them and it’s not their direct idea.
Not Feeding Your Cat at the Correct Time
My cat liked to have his dinner at the same time every day. He knew when that time grew near, too, and he would become increasingly more impatient the longer it took me to make him a meal. The problem is that cats find it offensive when you have something else to do that does not directly relate to what they want you to do. You have dishes or a phone call? Too bad, lady; feed me.
Not Feeding Your Cat What She Wants
The other problem with feeding a cat is that unless it’s what she wants, it’s offensive. When my cat was attacked by a dog last Christmas Eve-Eve, he had to eat nothing but soft, wet food and medication for weeks. Oh, the injustice of that. He was so offended that we would dare feed him food he did not prefer that he actually had a fit every time it was time to eat. I mean, other food might have killed him, but whatever.
Inviting Guests into Your Home
Our cat was a very offended cat when we dared to invite people into our home. Why would we do that? Why would we assume that having people over to our house would be all right with him in any way? He hates people, he kind of hates us and he really doesn’t like it when we do anything that is not on his list of things he loves. And really, he did not love guests.
Having a Baby
Our cat was fine with our kids. Then we decided to have a third baby, and that third baby was actually twins, so he was pretty upset. He was pretty upset when we brought the babies home from the NICU and our older girls wanted to be with them all the time. He no longer had his two favorite laps on which to relax and indulge, and that offended him greatly. I told him not to take it personally; I can barely get those two to hug me when I drop them off at school, but he didn’t get it.
Not Cleaning the Litter Box
All right; if a cat is going to be offended, this is a pretty good reason to be. I’d be mad, too, if the cleaning lady forgot to clean the toilets or if the rest of my family decided to stop cleaning up behind themselves, so I’ll give the cat this one. I don’t have to like it, but I will give this offended nature to him.
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