We all have some sort of obsession. Some of us are obsessed with shoes, handbags, travel, food, wine or whatever; others are obsessed with the people or animals they love the most. Some people are just obsessed with cats. And those people are typically called crazy cat ladies, even though we always thought that phrase was reserved for those who were single, of a certain age and living alone with their feline friends. It’s okay, though, to be obsessed with something even it if is your cat. At least you’re not obsessed with something dangerous, illegal or illicit, so there should really be no complaints from the peanut gallery. Anyone not okay with your obsession can unfriend you and remove themselves from your life. But if you don’t want to be obsessed with your cat, perhaps you should recognize the signs and seek help before the issue becomes a significant problem. And maybe we can help. Here are some of the top signs you are obsessed with your cats.
You Spend More Money on Your Cat than You
There is nothing wrong with spoiling your animals, because that’s what it’s like to be an animal lover. It means buying them treats and toys and taking them to the groomer. It’s just part of the job. But when you start spending more money on the cat than you spend on yourself – because you’ve ditched people and no longer have any care whatsoever whether or not you look good – you have a really big problem.
You Don’t Leave the House
Ever. You never, ever, ever leave the house. Kind of like when Taylor Swift said you were never, ever, ever getting back together; you never, ever, ever leave the house because leaving the house would mean leaving your cat and you cannot live like that. You just cannot do it. It’s unacceptable and it’s not right. You’d rather be home with the cat than get your hair cut or go to the store for soap. Because you are obsessed.
You Turn Down Plans
“I really just absolutely would LOVE to go to dinner with you three weeks from Friday to celebrate your rehearsal dinner and then go to your wedding the following day to celebrate your love for one another, but I just can’t. Bubbles is going through a tough time since the declawing and I can’t leave him at such a vulnerable time,” is not a conversation that sounds abnormal to you. You have problems – and I’m not the only one pointing out this issue.
You Talk about Your Cat as if it’s a Person
“So, anyway, last night Bubbles and I were watching “The Bachelor,” and we were dying when that one girl said she was in love with him and ready to have babies even though she just met him all of five minutes ago,” and you have no idea why people look at you so strangely. Not true; you assume they don’t watch the Bachelor, and then you don’t understand them.
Your Cat has a Social Media Page
This could be literal as in you have created an Instagram account for Bubbles because you think that life with Bubbles is so amazing, or it could be almost literal in that your cat has taken over your social media presence so completely that your friends have forgotten you are a human being and not a cat named Bubbles. Just kidding; your friends have already deleted, unfollowed and blocked you because they know you are a cat named Bubbles.
Your Cat has a Bigger Wardrobe than You
You know, I just have an issue with dressing up animals, but that’s my issue. But everyone has an issue with an animal that has a better wardrobe than its human. I mean, when the cat is sporting Burberry and you can’t even decide if you want to spend $5 on a tee shirt at Target, you have serious issues. It’s time to rethink the direction in which you are headed in life and get back on some sort of remote track to normalcy.
You Secretly Love it When People Call You the Crazy Cat Lady
No one wants to be the crazy cat lady, people; no one. But when your friends joke (but they aren’t really joking) that you have become the crazy cat lady or that you are well on your way to becoming this woman, you love it. You pretend as if it irritates you that they think this, but they really do think it and you really do love every second of it.
You Hate Dog People, and Dogs, and People
Okay, so this might not be a sign of obsession with cats; this could just be a sign of being a person. While I have no issue with dogs as a whole, I get the disliking people and dog people thing. After all, people do make it so difficult to like them. And – and we are not pointing fingers here – your crazy cat obsession is one of those things that might make it really hard for some people to like you. But fear not, because there are always other crazy cat people somewhere for you to find.
Your Cats are Your Kids
A lot of people do this with their animals, and that’s fine. But if you have kids and treat your cats better than your kids, you might have a slight obsession. Actually, you might just prefer little people and animals that don’t talk back, don’t make a mess and don’t require you to do everything for them. Scratch this one – you might just be a parent if you love your cat more than your kids sometimes.
Your Cats are Your Holiday Pictures
People love their animals and they love to include them in the family photo that goes out at Christmas, but let’s be honest here; if your cat is your holiday photo and you’re not in it, the kids aren’t in it and no one else matters, it could indicate a bit of a problem. So here’s to your obsession. May the odds be ever in your favor.
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