Cats are so much cooler than we like to give them credit for. I mean, they do things that are so much cooler than we could ever get away with. And then there is that whole thing about the term, you’re a cool cat; I mean, who came up with that if it weren’t for the fact that cats are really cool? See, we can tell you with certainty that cats are cool. If you have a cat, you might be able to tell us just how cool yours is. I’ll tell you how cool mine is. My cat likes to jump up on the railing at the top of the stairs and nap while half hanging off the railing over the edge where he could potentially plummet 22 feet to his death. But he is so cool he doesn’t even care that he could die from this. He just keeps on hanging out there and napping like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Either that or he’s suicidal after all the times the girls have dressed him up, pushed him around in strollers and held him so tight with love you almost see his eyes bulging from his head. Either way; he’s cool.
And so are other cats. In fact, we have a few cats here that are way cooler than you or I ever hope to be, and we highly recommend you check them out. Be warned, however, that you’re going to feel boring and not so much fun once you see what these cool cats are up to. Don’t say we did not warn you ahead of time.
The Decorative Cat
If you’re going to have a cat, you might as well have one that looks good as a decoration. It’s like buying something that does double duty. Or adopting something that does double-duty, which is free. Is it a cat or a decoration? Or does the cat not realize you can still see him and he is not, in fact, hidden? Who knows? But we love it.
This cat thinks it is as the beach, and it’s not going to listen to anyone who has anything else to say about that. He’s on a mission to sunbathe and your opinion is not needed. This cat needs you to get his back, though. After all, he doesn’t want to burn. There are other things on his list of things to do today.
Sometimes a cat just has a little bit of road rage. It happens to all of us; and this is proof that bad drivers anger everyone and not just me. Road rage kitty is probably far more effective than road rage me. Most people would probably move over to let this cat pass. They don’t do that for me.
Cat that Needs a Car
This cat really does need a convertible. Someone find this cat a Barbie Ferrari or something suitable stat; he’s far too cute to be stuck here in this position. Why is this cat in a box when he could be in something more suitable and way cooler? Can’t his people see he is way too cool for a faux car and he definitely needs something real – and candy apple red – to cruise around the house driving?
You know what you’ve done. He’s not even angry. He’s not yelling. He’s just so disappointed in you he cannot even believe that you are able to look at yourself in the mirror everyday without shame and disappointment.
Angry Dining Cat
When I ask for my mice medium rare, I expect it MEDIUM RARE! Where is Gordon Ramsay? He will tell you that what you just did in that kitchen is COMPLETELY unacceptable in so many ways. I demand a new piece of meat!
The Man Cat
The days are long, there’s nothing on television, football season is still months away. So I’m just going to sit here with my legs spread unceremoniously wide and enjoy my time looking like a common man. What about it?
Burger Eating Cat
If you’re going to work on improving the drive-thru system, getting people to get your order right the first time would be a good first step. Having them feed you while you do what you need to do at the window so you don’t have to stop would be the next.
Mr. Fix It Cat
There’s no need to ask your husband to change the bulbs every six months when the cat will do it right away. See, it’ll get done and you still did not have to do it yourself.
Life is Hard Cat
Life is just hard work. There’s eating and sleeping and finding a sunny window from which to spy on the neighbors and judge joggers. It’s a tough life and I’m living it.
At the end of a long day of napping and chasing hair ties and snacking on cat food and spilling water and trying to take food off of people’s plates, it’s time for another nap. Life is tiring.
The first step to changing your problem is to admit you have a problem in the first place. This cat will get right to that as soon as he is done with his nice, cold beer.
Where’s my Drink Cat
The day is long, the sun is hot and sometimes you just need a cocktail to enjoy throughout the day. So, where is this cocktail and how come it’s not in my hand? Someone bring me a cocktail RIGHT NOW.
Work From Home Kitty
Being successful doesn’t just happen to any old cat. You have to work for it, and you have to work hard. You have to do what you have to do to make sure you get the work done.
Too Much Online Shopping Cat
I want to buy this and that and that and this and everything. I want to buy everything. I want ALL THE THINGS. NOW!
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